Parshas KiSetzei - Bar Mitzva of Ilan Bagel

Ilan you are really pumped up at this moment. You have just beautifully executed you task . You are surrounded by everyone in the world who is important to you. You are connected to everyone menber of your past and of your future. Remember this moment and remeber that it happened here in the synagogue.

Of all of the commandments in the Torah which one is the hardest to keep? please remember this is a family show.
Which one is the easiest to keep? There is a midrash that answers this question.
The easiest mitzvah is in this weeks Torah portion chapter 22-6
If a birds nest happens to be before you on the road or any tree or on the ground - young birds or eggs- and the mother is roosting on the young birds or eggs, you shall not take the mother with the young. You shall surely send away the mother and take the young for yourself, Before we go on let's take a moment to understand this curious mitzvah by illustrating a scanario. I am on a camping trip. I am hungry. I see a nest with eggs and eggs for breakfast sounds good to me. I walk over to the nest and remembering my Torah obligation I shoo away the mother bird. I take the eggs enjoy the breakfast and have fulfilled a mitzvah.
What kind of a mitzvah is this anyway you might ask. Many have offered insights into this mitzvah. Maimonides talks about conservation. Not destroying a species by harvesting the mother and the young at the same time. Furthermore he says this mitzvah is an exercise in compassion. All mother s grieve at the loss of their young both human and animal. Now don't think that if we really had compassion we wouldn't take the egg in the first place. The Torah explicitly says upon emerging from the ark g-d said to Noach "all creatures that roam the face of the earth I have given to you to eat". Eating the animal in the service of man is the fulfillment of that animals purpose. Nonetheless that use must be sensitive and compassionate. You might say we are PETA People for the Ethics of Torah Always.

Now let's look at the hardest mitzvah.
The hardest mitzvah is honoring ones parents. It takes time, effort, physical and emotional capital and when you are all said and done you never know if you really did everthing you are required to do.
The Torah rarely tells us what the reward is for the preformance of a mitzvah. However one famous exception is Honor thy father and mother so that you may have long days. Interstingly enough of the very few mitzvos that the Torah lists the reward the Torah also tells us what the reward is for the mitzva of sending away the mother bird. Surprise of surprises the Torah states so that it will be good for you and you shall prolong your days.

Let's see what we can learn from these two mitzvos and the unusual connection between them.
The first lesson is that both mitzvos have to do with parents. The sensitivty to a mother not just my mother or someone elses mother but even a mother bird prevents us from being self centered. I must respect not only my parents but the concept of parenthood. I live a life indebted to another for my very existance.
A second lesson. Don't grade the mitzvos. This one is a big one this one is a small one. This one is important this one not so important. This leads to a general classifacation system. This person I have to be nice to this one not. This promise or obligation is a big one, this one I don't have to take seriously. We should view all mitzvos equally as the Will of G-d, no more and no less. The reward for an easy mitzvah may be no different than the reward for a difficult mitzvah. Responsibilities, relationships large and small who really knows which one is important and which one isn't. Holydays large and small who decides. As a matter of fact I will make you an offer I have made before. if anyone would like to take off Yom Kippur and sign up for Simchas Torah instead I will give you full permission. I bet you will have alot more fun. In short, our reward depends on what is in our heart when we do the mitzvot. Don't be calculating just straightforward and sincere. The similarity of the reward for these two mitzvot teaches us the importance of the attitude with which we approach mitzvot.
The importance of what is in your heart is dramatised by the following statement.
The Talmud in kiddushin 31a States: Avimi the son of R' Avahu taught; One may feed his father succulent fowl and yet goes to gehinom and another works his father at the grindstone and goes to heaven. The Jerusalem talmud illustrates with the following story.

Once there was a man who was feeding his father succulent fowl. The father asked "where did you obtain such good fowl" the son replied "what does it matter to you. Just chew it well and swallow." Another man was working at his mill. The king drafted his father into the service. The man said father you work here in the mill and I will go to serve the king (the duration of the kings service was unknown) Further Rashi explains even if the son needs to put the father to work but he explains to that he has no alternative and shows him how much it will be appreciated that is also honor. Whereas the one who served the succulent fowl indicated that it was all abig burden to him.

So we see that ultimately it is what is in our hearts make great differences ultimate outcome.

And why am I stressing these three lessons this morning. Because we are celebrating the bar mitzvah of a boy who has a good heart. Ilan is sincerely kind and gentle not because he is supposed to but because that's the way he feels. His innate goodness makes him a supportive person and a great friend classmate or teammate. In the book of proverbs we are taught Tov shem mishemen tov a good name is more valuable that fine oil. Ilan has a good name for not being stuck up or self absorbed. No one knows this more than your proud parents. Both Lee and Sherry stressed your goodheartedness. Jordan and Marlee and Zoe love you not just because you are their one and only brother in the whole world but because you are kindhearted and they are proud that you are their brother. For your grandfather Stan and your grandmother Jolee this is a proud moment. Sam and Pola enjoy the nachas of seening this proud moment . As holocaust survivors they have known much pain all of this makes the joy and pride they have in their grandson that much more special. So Ilan I advise you to dilligently study the Torah so that you may recognize all of the mitzvos even the little ones just like you recognize everyone even the little people. Continue to preform your mitzvos and live your life with your wholesome attitude because we see there is a great difference between doing something grudgingly and wholeheartedly. And may you be blessed with the bleesing of the hardest mitzvah and the easiest mitzvah a long long life.